Saturday, January 26, 2008

Name Tag Disease

I saw a news item on TV today about shoppers lined up outside a store to purchase the latest Air Jordan shoe from Nike. These babies were selling for well over $200 and the sorry saps were ready to buy them sight-unseen. I couldn't help but think that what they all needed was a good dope slap. I hate wearing clothes with a conspicuous brand label. I don't mind paying for quality on (rare) occasion. I just don't feel like I should provide the company with free advertising. They should give me a discount for that. What if somebody thought I was flaunting the brand name status in order to make a big impression? Horrors! They'd say to themselves; "There goes poor Ted. His self esteem is so low he's trying to pump it up by paying extra for name brand products." I'd be tempted to cut the label off. Now why should I do that? Why should I care what they think? Maybe this is just another kind of vanity. Ah shoot. I'm working on perfection but I've got a long way to go. If I ever get there my wife will know right away because my body will quit producing intestinal gas. Now, where is that coupon for the $8 jeans at Bi-Mart?

Bee's Wax has Wained

When was the last time you asked somebody something and they responded by saying ... "None of your bee's wax." What a social tragedy if we let this little gem die out. We must do our part to see that it gets passed on to the younger generations. Try using it at work. The boss will be so pleased to hear it again he might not even fire you.